The holiday’s are upon us, a time for families to get together and celebrate not only the joys of the season, but just being together as a family. For children of separated or divorced parents, this can be a bittersweet time of year. Here are 10 Things Your Child Wants You To Know:

10. Don’t Fight!: This is a time of the year when I most want to be happy and want you to be happy too. Don’t ruin it by arguing.

9. Listen to Me: I want to tell you I feel without you getting mad or making me feel ashamed.

8.  I Don’t Want Choose: Don’t make me choose between spending time with each of you. I don’t want to hurt one of you by choosing another. Let me spend time with both of you - it shouldn’t be either/or it should be Mom and Dad.

7. I Don’t Want To Travel: I don’t want to have to get on a plane or travel far from my other parent and friends. I am important. Come to me.

6.  I’m Not A Tennis Ball: I don’t want to be “the problem,” bouncing back and forth between the two of you. Talk about me peacefully and share time with me.

5.  Be Happy: I want you to be happy too. I know this is not easy for anyone, but it is what we have to deal with, so when we are together, and I hope that even when we are not, you Mom, you Dad, are happy.

4.  Leave the Stepparents Out of It: I don’t want you to fight about or with the stepparents. It doesn’t do anybody any good. It’s just hurtful.

3.  Holiday Gatherings Are Not Time To Fight: If we get together to celebrate, I don’t expect it to be time for you two to get back together. I do expect that you don’t fight, and try to get along.

2.  Let’s Have Fun: There’s no school. It’s the holidays. We’re together. That’s awesome for me. Let’s enjoy it together.

1.  I  Love You Dad. I Love You Mom.