Sarah Newton, our favorite teen coach in the UK was kind enough to share another post with Better Parenting University. — Thanks Sarah!….

Recent studies show that 88% of teenagers who make abstinence pledges break them.

I had the privilege recently of coaching a 13-year-old on The Trisha Show who was desperate to have her baby. Whilst her situation was extraordinary, it got me thinking about how we, as adults, handle the subject of sex, with the next generation.

The big debate at present is one between abstinence education and sex education; which should be taught and which is the best option. Certainly in America it is no secret that George W. Bush’s administration are strong supporters of abstinence, giving a massive $700,000 to The Silver Ring Thing - a Christian faith-based abstinence programme that encourages teenagers to abstain from sex before marriage. However, a recent study at Columbia University of 12,000 pledges revealed that 88% were broken and when they were, the young people involved were less likely to use contraception. In this country, politicians have raised doubts about sex education in schools, saying young people are encouraged to experiment too soon and that chastity is the only way forward.

Whilst on the surface, abstinence education could appear the way forward, for me it is all a symptom of us trying to control our teen’s behaviour and is totally in conflict with my philosophy that states that the only person you can control is yourself. While I do not say that abstinence education has no good sides, I wonder if it really is appropriate for the modern day teen.

On the other side we have sex education and I am sure this has come a long way since I was at school (being taught how you got pregnant, with the tube of a Bunsen burner representing the male genitalia!). However, the teens still tell me that the teachers are embarrassed, explain it poorly and want to get off the subject as quickly as possible. It would appear that, in this country, we have a ’sweep it under the carpet’ attitude and teens like me in the 80’s were still learning all about sex from their friend’s and teen magazines.

Perhaps we should turn to Holland for some answers, with same-age sex being legal from 12 to 16, and 79% of girls saying they get most of their sex advice from their Mums. They have the lowest numbers of teen pregnancies and sexually transmitted infections in Europe. Teens in Holland are quick to point out that losing their virginity is not such a big deal.

It seems that when you take all the mystery away from sex and make talking about sex open and honest, children are less likely to make mistakes through ignorance.

So maybe it’s not about education at all, maybe it’s about a way of life - a way of life that openly and honestly de-mystifies sex.

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Better Parenting University has the answers parents need when it comes to ensuring your child has the knowledge they need when it comes to the issues of sex.  Find our more in this online seminar: Talking To Your Child About Sex: How To Protect Your Child Physically And Emotionally

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Figures gained from the June issue of Bliss Magazine.

Sarah Newton is one of the world’s leading teen coaches. She enjoys a high profile and is one of the only Teen Coaches to have hosted her own eight part TV series ‘My Teen’s a nightmare – I’m Moving Out’. Her first book ” Help! My Teenager is an Alien - the everyday situation guide for parents” was launched in March 2007 by Penguin and rarely drops out of the top ten parenting teenager books. Sarah believes that parents can have great relationships with their teenagers and still get all the boring things done and to this end she offers everyday practical advice. To get Free access to Sarah’s “3 easy proven techniques to instantly reduce stress in your home and dramatically improve the relationship with your teen” go to http://www.sarahnewton.com